Note to Eli- YOU ARE NOT TWO YEARS OLD YET! SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE!!

So... Eli locked me out of the house today.

No, let me back up. Yesterday, he took off his diaper so that he could pee on the kitchen floor. Later, he covered his entire body in cortizone cream. Then, we went to my parents' house to watch General Conference, and he knocked over my mom's wall divider with family pictures on it- the one we all chipped in and got her for Christmas this year- and shattered a pane of glass on my younger brother's head.

Then I had to take Ben to the airport for Week One of Three of his business trip.

And then I had to put Eli to bed. We just started putting him back in his crib (after consulting innumerable sleep books and pediatricians and parents, and after about a week of him absolutely destroying his room, we decided to go back to the crib). He hates the crib. He HATES the crib. He screamed and called for me and cried and threw his blankets out. By the time Ben called me to let me know he had landed safely, I was completely in tears.

And then, today, Eli locked me out of the house. I just took the garbage down to the dumpster, and I came back up the stairs, and voila! the screen door was locked, with a highly amused 18-month-old on the other side of the glass. I cajoled, I laughed with him, I instructed him. I knelt there for ten- fifteen minutes, praying I would not have to bust in the glass. Finally, after an eternity of him laughing at me through the door, he was able to unlock the door. First thing I did when I got inside was hug him. Second thing I did was grab the screw driver and take off the dang lock. Who needs a lock on the screen door??? Who is that going to keep out? Moms, that's who. The people who do NOT want to bust in the glass.

Come home, Ben. Come home.